It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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