Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Let's paint friendship bongs
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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