Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
