I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
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We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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