I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
