Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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