the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
