He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
