bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
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My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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