What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
