I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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