Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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