yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
