But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
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Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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