"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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