my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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