I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
