you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
