So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
