problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
