I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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