i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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