Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
please don't ironically join a cult
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