he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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