Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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