Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
