The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
