Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize