well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
