Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
