wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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