i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
