Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
