he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize