I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
