Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
