So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
