So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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