Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
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Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
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I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
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