thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
