She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
