your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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