Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
