return my video game
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
