maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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