We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
