so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
