thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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