This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
