im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
