dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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