4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
