You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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