I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
