i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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