i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
