Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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