Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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