i dont even know how to be here
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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