I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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