So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
