she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Terrible idea I love it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
