first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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