worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize