Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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