I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
